Sunday, December 31, 2017

Daily gratitude 12/31/17

Grateful for:

* the last day of 2017

* M.E.L.

* my daughter, her new husband, and her graduation from college

* continued commitment to abstinence

* snow and cold weather

* Christmas with my family of origin

* 14 years of sobriety

* the words my father said at my sobriety birthday meeting about being grateful to have his daughter 'back'

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Daily gratitude 12/20/17

Today I am grateful for:

* answers to prayers

* a good night's sleep and helpful dreams

* coffee

* my new bird kids...they are so sweet!

* my 'old' dog kids...always so happy to see me and cuddle

* tomorrow is winter solstice - more light coming!

* the new flower at the far end of the dried up, dead twig

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Daily gratitude 12/19/17

Grateful for:

* the power of prayer

* second chances

* amends

* hope

* the power of writing

* my daughter's marriage and graduation

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Daily gratitude 12/14/17

Grateful today:

* to feel compassion instead of judgment towards those still struggling with addiction

* for sobriety and abstinence

* for the ability to make decision that make my life peaceful, not chaotic

* that I have given myself permission to take care of me, at long last

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Daily gratitude December 12th 2017

I am grateful for:

* an afternoon alone at the office while everyone else was at class

* feeling like an adult, living in my adult body, making adult decisions

* getting a ton more done on the name change process. Almost finished.

* the amusement and hilarity of watching my sisters mock brawl on Facebook

" not being a part of or the cause of the chaos in either of my ex's lives

Monday, December 11, 2017

Daily gratitude 12/11/17

Grateful today that:

* I can choose boundaries and enforce them

* I have excellent, flexible writing skills

* I can adjust my food plan/abstinence without putting myself in danger of relapse

* I share how I am REALLY doing when I go to an AA meeting, not a canned response to the topic

* Cody Group AA meetings have been all non-smoking for over 13 years

* Ditzy the Pom loves me so 'vigorously' when I get home, it is almost painful. LOL.

* I have an excellent, fair, balanced counselor

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Daily gratitude 12/10/17

Today I am grateful for:

* 14 years of sobriety on 12/29

* no one in my life (kid or partner) that is actively using (don't need that chaos)

* the quiet and cleanliness of my home, post-asshole

* my three sweet, shedding dogs. LOL.

* the Kid graduating this coming weekend!

* the bills are paid for the month...barely. So grateful.

* the Roomba that just scooped up multiple loads of dog hair off the floors - best V-day gift ever to myself.

Friday, December 8, 2017

Daily gratitude 12/8/17

I am so grateful today for:

* continued food abstinence

* a month of legal single-ness

* It's Friday!

* upcoming avian additions to my family

* sixteen hours of 'fasting' today

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Daily gratitude 12/6/17

Grateful today for:

* the knowledge that when I am 'in gratitude', there is no room for addiction

* gratitude firmly places me in the presence of my Higher Power

* reclaiming my original identity after ten years of submitting to others

* my original identity is a lot healthier with more clearly defined boundaries these days

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Daily gratitude 12/5/17

Today I am humbly grateful for:

* AA meetings

* a better mood, almost happy, almost my old self

* remaining abstinent - almost ten months now

* MI coming off my monthly payment

* my daughter's approaching graduation

* being single and assuming my maiden name again - may all things new come from that change

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Daily gratitude 11/7/17

Grateful today for:

* the therapeutic power of writing

* the therapeutic power cooking/baking

* the therapeutic power of reading

* the healing processes of 12 step recovery

* my counselor

* persistent friends

* a weekend out of town

Monday, October 30, 2017

Daily gratitude 10/30/17

Today I am so grateful for:

* blogger, where I can express publically and privately, what I am thinking/going through

* the divorce - soon to be final. All done but the judge's signature.

* my lifestyle friends

* my recovery friends

* a lightly snowing, cold day

* PCW - best bestie ever!

* payday

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Daily gratitude 10/26/17

Very grateful today that:

* I know how to surrender to my Higher Power and do it

* I accept and live the solution offered by 12 step programs

* I don't have to act like an asshole to have power/control in my life

* I am free from manipulative, hurtful, codependent behaviors

* No matter what, I am a survivor

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Daily gratitude 10/25/17

Saw a reminder on basics of gratitude yesterday. It really can be this simple.

When one is in gratitude, there is no room for addictive behavior.

Today I am grateful that:

* I am breathing

* I have a vehicle that runs

* I have a roof over my head

* I have food to eat

* I have a good job

* My bills are paid

* the divorce will be final soon

* I have amazing support from recovery programs and friends

* I am still teachable and accept that life is a journey, not a destination

Friday, October 20, 2017

Daily gratitude 10/20/17

Grateful today for:

* the appraisal coming back for more than I had hoped

* a working, sober/abstinent brain that is able to figure out solutions to problems

* my spacy, laid-back boss who pays very little attention to what I am up to besides work

* friends and family helping me get through 'all this shit'

* a clean house

* good shoes so my feet don't hurt when I walk

* hope

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Daily gratitude 10/19/17

Grateful today for:

* 3 twelve step programs to live my life according to

* the appraisal is done

* more proof, daily, that the ex is doing exactly what he denied he was

* sleep

* fall weather

* coffeeeeeeeeee

* the resilience and commitment to survive any adversity

* recovery friends

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Daily gratitude 10/18/17

Grateful today for:

* keto bars

* continued food abstinence - 8 months today!

* a clean and peaceful home

* being single again

* the help of PW, ML, MB, CA, and LE in getting my house cleaned up and organized

* gorgeous fall weather

* my three adorable, fuzzy housemates

Friday, October 13, 2017

Daily gratitude 10/13/17

Grateful today for:

* coffee

* the forecast of snow

* being alive

* bills are paid for the month

* recovery

Though, really, I am not feeling very grateful at all. I mostly feel resentful at the ex.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Daily gratitude 10/3/17

Today I am so grateful for:

* the tenacity to go forward with the divorce

* my most excellent counselor

* recovery friendships - their support humbles me

* meetings, meetings, meetings

* new hopes and dreams for the future

* the healing and cleansing power of tears

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Daily gratitude 10/1/17

Today I am grateful that/for:

* I can feel the feelings, cry the tears, and heal

* my spiritual toolkit that recovery has given me - works every time

* I know how to cook! Fabulous food, every day, from my own hands

* my adorable Poms  and how assertive they are about being affectionate to me

* I am a Victor, not a victim

Friday, September 29, 2017

Daily gratitude 9/29/17

Today I am soooo grateful for:

* payday is today!

* ML's willingness to help me figure out financial solutions

* remembering my night dreams - much food for thought

* boss being off a couple days this week

* new books to read and an endless 'to be read' list

* coffee

* remaining teachable, not intractable

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Daily gratitude 9/28/17

Today I am grateful for:

* the unwavering support of my recovery friends

* the surprising and welcome presence of my 'alternative' lifestyle friends

* the gentle love and steadfastness of my family of origin

* the gathering, virtual and real time, of people all over the world to encourage and love me

* a clean house

* many, many tools, like writing, prayer, reading, oils, meetings, etc. to get me through each day

* autumn - I love fall weather, temperature, colors, scents, and sights

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Daily gratitude 9/27/17

Grateful today that:

* I can reach out to others who understand, instead of keeping toxic secrets

* I can cry my heart out - and heal because of those tears

* I am maintaining my food abstinence in the face of incredible stress

* God is always, always, always there for me

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Daily gratitude 9/26/17

Today, I am grateful for:

* motivation to do paperwork and other needed decisions to move on with my life

* continuing food abstinence despite a strong compulsion to not 'feel' at all

* support and friendship from ML, AG, and PW

* the courage to call my former counselor and ask for an appointment

* my three sweet, loving puppies, cuddling me when I am sad

Monday, September 25, 2017

Daily gratitude 9/25/17

Today I am humbly, utterly grateful for:

* surviving this weekend - so full of emotional and physical pain

* remembering to reach out to my HP for help and surrendering utterly

* my bestie, PW...helping me walk through anything with her steady friendship

* my second bestie, AG...level headed, compassionate, affirming

* the return of hope, or at least, the abatement of utter hopelessness

* a better attitude and outlook when I woke up this morning

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Daily gratitude 9/20/17

Thankful today for:

* the ability to make decisions that are healthy for me

* being single again - yes!

* knowing that financial stuff will somehow work itself out. God always manages that for me.

* recovery, recovery, recovery

* a working brain and high self-esteem that I will allow NOONE to compromise

* seven months of food abstinence and almost 14 years of sobriety!

Monday, September 18, 2017

Daily gratitude 9/18/17

Today, so grateful for:

* seven months of food abstinence as of today

* the love and support of my family of origin as I go through tough times

* my bestie, PW, for her cheerfulness and encouragement even in the face of her own challenges

* surviving a very sad day with grace and dignity

* funky night dreams that make me think

* the exercise bike I bought five years ago and now am finally using

* recovery meetings, sponsors, and sponsees

* the MUCH cooler weather

* technology - helping me stay connected to those who love me who are far away

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Daily gratitude 9/17/17

Today, I am grateful for:

* my dad's loving acceptance of the changes in my life, without the formerly present judgment/criticism

* rain and cooler temperatures

* my writing ability - healing my brain by using words to shovel out the crap

* new possibilities and hope in my life

* sister J. - thankful to be friends again and sisters in faith and recovery

* my recovery - once again helping me survive the unsurvivable

* continuing to stay the course on my abstinence, with improved health and lost weight

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Daily gratitude 9/13/17

Today I am grateful for:

* marriage counseling - someone else gets to see the shit that is going on

* My X being a friend and supportive

* my dad living through another heart attack

* continuing to lose weight even with all the chaos going on - wow

* cooler temperatures

* sassy, shorter new hair cut

* AA, my rock in all of life's storms

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Daily gratitude 9/10/17

Today I am grateful for:

* the chance to 12 step someone yesterday!

* telling the truth about my current life status at the women's meeting - freedom, no more hiding

* being able to keep my mouth shut when someone was driving me nuts yesterday

* attending three meetings yesterday

* dinner and conversation with V. What a privilege.

* significant weight loss this week - finally

* fall is coming and summer is over

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Daily gratitude 9/6/17

Reminding myself to be grateful for:

* not taking on other people's shit, lies, and dishonesty

* knowing the truth of my reality, not someone else's

* getting right back on my low carb plan after a less-than stellar weekend

* a peaceful evening last night after a week of fucking chaos

* the willingness to make plans to survive my latest poor lifestyle choices

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Daily gratitude 8/30/17

Struggling to be grateful today. I feel down and DGAF about anything.

Grateful (or trying to be) for:

* my husband's efforts for our upcoming plans

* a great job that pays me well and takes care of me (despite OCD/ADHD boss)

* that my hand will soon be pain free as the CT surgery incision heals up

* books, books, books

* that I am alive...even if I feel old and decrepit. Many of my h.s./college friends are not.

* sobriety - still kicking it, one day at a time

* for my daughter's independence/resilience, even when I don't like her choices

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Daily gratitude 8/29/17

Grateful today for:

* modern medicine, making my CT release surgery simple and virtually pain free and recovery from it quite rapid

* counseling with Z. - she really does seem to know what she is doing

* recovery, always recovery...the unwavering light to my path

* Amazon Prime - I am abusing the heck out their video perk

* my three lovely Pomeranian ladies...comforting and sweet and challenging

* the courage to stand up for myself and take care of myself, without being an ass

Friday, August 11, 2017

Daily gratitude 8/11/17

Grateful today for:

* rain and cooler temperatures

* friends and their support during difficult times

* writing skills

* sponsees, keeping me sane

* staying on my food plan NO MATTER WHAT

* feeling better mentally than I did earlier this week

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Daily gratitude 8/10/17

Today I am grateful for:

* nerve test on my right hand, in anticipation of treatment of carpal tunnel

* the wherewithal to ignore T. and to not take his bait

* meetings

* my bestie, P.

* every ache and pain - means I'm alive

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Daily gratitude 8/9/17

Grateful for:

* feeling less depressed and out of it today than I was yesterday

* making the decision to take 'off' the 'ring' and put on one of my choice

* refusing to be codependent any longer with T.

* friends like SM, PW, and Matt B - they soothe my soul with their compassion and understanding

* three adorable nap puppies to calm me down

* really, really good books to read lately

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Daily gratitude 8/8/17

Grateful for:

* new affirmations to clear and redirect my thinking

* remaining abstinent, sober, and independent despite great chaos/stress

* sobriety tool kit

* my eyes opened to acknowledge my own very real sanity

* not taking on other's problems/chaos/insanity

* three cuddly dogs to soothe my soul, especially by napping with them

* air conditioning

* my flexible, understanding boss

* AA meetings

Monday, August 7, 2017

Daily gratitude 8/7/17

Today I am grateful for:

* my shoulder/neck is starting to feel a tiny bit better

* prayer/meditation on the back patio this morning with coffee, candle, plant, and sunrise

* a nice evening with T. and D. last night

* a quiet Monday

* milder temperatures

* M. & M. getting to adopt their foster kids on 9/6/17

* a design for living that really works

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Daily gratitude 8/5/17

Today I am grateful:

* that I know that no matter how far I have come, there is more to the journey and my recovery and healing - and I joyfully embrace that knowledge

* for the ability and willingness to write out how I feel and what I am struggling with - the synergy of thoughts and writing bring me new insights, ideas, healing, and depth to my relationship with my Higher Power

* for my inviolate sanctuary/space - my home

* that recovery will always be my first priority. Nothing and no one will get in the way of that. My brief thoughts of drinking or eating to cope with my problems last night reminded me of that.

* that I am not ashamed of and will not apologize for my commitment to claim my God and my 12th step recovery as the most important parts of my life.

Friday, August 4, 2017

Daily gratitude - 8/4/17

Today I am grateful for:

* my friendship with P., however long that lasts

* weird TV shows like "American Gods" - makes me think

* the ALC site - helps me with my abstinence

* T. mowing the lawn yesterday

* T. helping my dad with his irrigation problems

* D.'s decision to buy new tires for the Expedition

* remembering to take my problems to prayer/God instead of addictive behavior

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Daily gratitude 8/3/17

I am humbly grateful for:

* being clean and sober for 13 years...and now food abstinent almost six months

* the rigorous honesty necessary to maintain emotional sobriety

* the desire to be faithful to my partner and not use sex addictively

* the ability to be pleasant and diplomatic at all times, not just when I want something

* the willingness to do whatever is necessary to be sane and sober

* the desire to be of and the opportunities for service to others

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Daily gratitude 8/2/17

So grateful today for:

* rain, whenever or however much we get

* the reclining loveseat, with room for three small dogs to cuddle with me

* the ability to say 'no' and follow through with that 'no'

* more motivation and energy to get 'stuff' done - thanks to BPD and supps

* making my FitBit step goal every day

* a full night sleep and waking up before my alarm

* my daughter's upcoming graduation and wedding (!!!!)

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Daily gratitude 8/1/17

Today, I am grateful for:

* the 'finance' essential oil I've been diffusing the last few days

* the new car - pick up tonight!

* that I remain teachable, not intractable. I learn about myself and the world every day.

* continuing to slowly lose weight on BPD

* L. noticing my weight loss and saying positive things

* a mellow Monday yesterday

* Miss Ditzy - such a joy and a sweetness that I haven't had in a dog in ten years

* baked chicken skins - OMG yum

* books and the library

* the friendship between Dad and D.

* the ability to be grateful, no matter what is going on

Monday, July 31, 2017

Daily gratitude 7/31/17

Some times, I am grateful for the same stuff over and over. It's not because I have no imagination or ability to see something different.

It's because these things are truly precious to me.

Today, I am grateful for:

* being alive after my serious illness four years ago

* surviving the dysfunctional relationships I have been in with grace and sobriety

* sobriety from alcohol, codependency, and food

* God's grace and mercy to me, as well as His unconditional love for me

* dogs, dogs, dogs

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Daily gratitude 7/30/17

Today I am grateful for:

* living alone for a time...the peace and privacy is exhilarating

* Ditzy

* the ability and commitment to self care

* good jobs and recovering credit rating

* feeling good physically and mentally as I stick to BPD

* the daily rains - keeps things a tad cooler and greener

* the possibility of new wheels to survive the winters here

* the clean garage

* Mr. Liam's first birthday party today

* my father

Friday, July 28, 2017

Daily gratitude 7/28/17

Much better attitude today!

I am grateful for:

* my sponsee, J. - in encouraging her, I remember things I learned and did in early sobriety

* P. - for the same reason.

* my spiritual toolkit that I built in early sobriety and continue to add to today

* the ability to cope, sober, with anything that comes my way

* the radical self care I practice every day

* T.'s willingness to help my dad with projects

* my own willingness

* remaining teachable

* three meetings a day at the local AA hall

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Daily gratitude 7/27/17

Struggling to be grateful today.

The irritants are many.

Today, I am grateful for:

* being alive

* to have a partner willing to work on our problems

* good health (yesterday's BP was 100/60)

* Friday is only a day away

* sobriety, always sobriety...yesterday's noon meeting was a powerhouse on 'I am the problem'

* the possibility of sweet Ditzy in our lives

* getting along with my daughter - it's joy to be able to talk to her without pissing each other off

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Daily gratitude 7/26/17

Grateful today for:

* joint counseling

* yesterday's rain - we need it!

* waking up long before my alarm - means I got enough sleep

* an amazing new low carb cookbook

* the possibility of Ditzy

* C. and M. and the developing friendship with them and between them

* P. and her sobriety journey

* being grateful instead of angry and resentful

Monday, July 24, 2017

Daily gratitude 7/24/17

Today I am so grateful for:

* the chance to twelve step someone yesterday. What a rush.

* the taste of bulletproof coffee in the morning

* continuing to slowly lose weight

* my beautiful, comfortable, safe home

* sprinkler system

* three fewer mice terrorizing my house

* friends, in and out of recovery

* slightly shorter days as the year turns towards winter

* my husband being at least mildly willing to work on our problems

* the internet, which helps me learn about stuff that puzzles me, all while in my pjs

* new and old friends

* God always giving me what I need, every day, to keep my recovery/abstinence intact and on the right path

* remembering to be grateful every day, especially at the beginning of my day, to set the tone for my day of positive thoughts and hope

* P.'s sobriety journey

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Daily gratitude - 7/19/17

Today I am so grateful for:

* the counseling appointment yesterday - and for getting to 'speak' my piece

* waking up before my alarm - I am finally getting enough sleep after years of not

* day one of the audit is over

* a new, sassy hair cut

* living alone again is so amazing - I'm happy

* little to no fatigue

* two sweet dogs to come home to

* lunch with A. today

* my bestie, P. - there for me through thick and thin

* flowers and herbs in my Aerogardens coming up - always feels/looks like hope

* S. coming by last night, unannounced, to talk about 'stuff' that needed to be talked about

* MB, for being a steady and nonjudgmental friend

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Daily gratitude 7/9/17

Today I am grateful for:

* the developing migraine this morning - it proves I am alive and able to continue to seek solutions to improve my health

* cartoons on Amazon Prime to indulge my Inner Kids

* my second job that I tend to resent - it makes it possible for me to have a nicer car and home

* a well-stocked kitchen to support my low carb lifestyle choice

* willingness to change my patterns and habits to develop more positive, life-giving ones

* the desire and willingness to seek solutions to my lack of energy and motivation and sleep problems/fatigue

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Daily gratitude 7/2/17

Grateful today for:

* a four day weekend!

* sprinkler system cooling the yard and watering the grass this morning

* sleepy, snuggly puppies on my lap

* almost five months of abstinence

* getting to see my sisters this holiday weekend

* quiet and peace in my home

* the ability to make decisions that are good for ME

* a design for living (AA) that helps me not be stuck in negativity and depression

Friday, June 30, 2017

Daily gratitude 6/30/17

I am humbly grateful for:

* a program of recovery that has taught me to think for myself, take care of myself, and have a plan of action when there is trouble/crisis
* almost five months of food abstinence - I don't eat no matter what!
* the support of two good friends whenever I face challenges
* my three recovery groups - precious, precious friends and fellow travelers
* a quiet, clean home of my home, at last
* an excellent job that doesn't demand a lot of me and takes good care of me
* the healing of relationships with my family of origin

Friday, June 2, 2017

Daily gratitude 6/2/17

Today, I am grateful for:

* nice clothing to wear
* a comfy bed to sleep in
* the ability to say 'no'
* pretty good health
* abstinence
* flowers in spring and in my yard
* solar lights
* a good job
* a design for living that helps me be sober/abstinent
* lunch today with A.
* meetings and more meetings
* the people I am privileged to sponsor in recovery

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Daily gratitude - 5/30/17

I've been doing the Bulletproof Diet lately.

One of their suggestions to be 'bulletproof' is to be grateful - find something to be thankful for every day.

That works nicely with my 12 step recovery, which also suggests gratitude is an essential part of sobriety.

Today, I am especially grateful for:

* the three day weekend I just had

* having a great job that GIVES me a three day weekend to enjoy

* my husband

* enough money to pay my bills

* enough brain power and 'wherewithal' to do the BP Diet - I am getting results

* the lost of 31 pounds since February - woot!

* getting along with my daughter

* my ex giving me weekly, if not daily, examples of why I made the right decision in leaving him

* the true blue dream of sky we have today in Cody, Wyoming

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Daily gratitude 2/22/17

I may not post here to regularly about what I am grateful for, but I am ever grateful every day!

Today, thinking about how grateful I am for:

* a very mellow, intelligent, fair boss...

* ...who is also ADHD, so he doesn't pay attention to my weirdness/fuckery

* a great job that takes excellent care of me with pay and benefits and flexibility

* a loving husband who is so supportive

* nice weather and rain - spring may be coming!

* seeing sissy #5 in March when she visits the parental unit

* good friends

* recovery meetings

Monday, January 23, 2017

Daily gratitude 1/23/17

The fussing I did with DH this weekend and the conversations with friends last week has made me hyper aware of a few things, for which I am extremely GRATEFUL to remember:

* I am still a red-blooded hetero female but I need a red-blooded hetero guy to get there.

* I can survive on my own financially, no matter how uncomfortable that might be

* I truly have everything I need and most of what I want at this point in my life

* My recovery is the most important thing in the world, no matter how ANYONE else might feel

* I am beautiful and desirable in my own eyes, not just in other's.

* No one gets to yell at me ever again. Ever.

* I always win, in the end...