Monday, November 17, 2014

Daily gratitude 11-17-14

I know I'm not posting very often, but just know, I am grateful every day!

Today - grateful for:

* health

* the weight I've released in the last year and a half

* cold weather and snow - love it!

* being a good cook

* books

* yarn

* a fireplace

* the possibilities in dating - and that I'm pickier about that!

* electric blankets

* coffee

* my amazing, intelligent, resilient daughter

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Daily gratitude 11/6/14

Grateful today:

* that I don't have to put up with men who are ignorant, non-communicative asses

* that I am able to clearly spot such asses early on in getting acquainted

* that I am not desperate enough (or at all) to put up with asses and their excuses

* that I am worth waiting for the right person to be in my life

* to now know it is better to cut it off now when I see red flags than after my heart is involved

* for my recovery family and friends

* that I have the courage to be blissfully ignorant of politics and to be putting my energy to its highest and best use: recovery

Friday, October 24, 2014

Daily gratitude 10-24-14

Today I am grateful that:

* it's Friday!

* did I mention it's! Friday! (LOL)

* beautiful blue skies with fluffy white clouds

* it's Friday!

* I will get this whole weekend at home - lots of reading and cooking coming up!

* boundaries - I've finally got them in all areas of my life!

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Daily gratitude 10-23-14

So thankful today for:

* AA/OA/ACA meetings

* my new AA/OA sponsor

* l-glutamine helping me with cravings

* the courage to continue tweaking my food plan

* coconut oil

* my numerous recovery friends - I am so very blessed

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Daily gratitude 10-21-14

So grateful today that:

* I can wait on my God's plan for me

* I can set boundaries with others

* I get to define (and do so) the parameters of possible relationships

* I know what I want and won't settle for less

* I can say no to that which might or will harm me and my sobriety/abstinence

* gorgeous autumn weather and feathery gray clouds in the sky

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Daily gratitude 10-15-14

Grateful today for;

* an amazing, mystically colored sunrise

* a groovy new hair cut/color

* my peaceful, incredible job

* Wednesday!

* the Kid doing well in school and in her life

* autumn - just love the colors, leaves, smells, and temperatures!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Daily gratitude 10-9-14

Today I am thankful that:

* this week is almost over

* the 'munch' on Friday

* to see lots of family over the next few days at gma's funeral

* LW - for her strength in abstinence

Monday, October 6, 2014

Daily gratitude 10-6-14

Today I am grateful for:

* my family of origin

* healing from old traumas

* my beautiful daughter

* life coming out of death

* my heart bursting with God's Presence today

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Daily gratitude 10-2-14

Today I am grateful:

* continued growth and awareness in ACA

* the messages in night dreams

* the ability to write about my 'stuff' as well as create poetry and other types of writing

* cool temperatures and rain

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Daily gratitude 10-1-14

Today I am so grateful for:

* my daddy and getting to see him briefly this morning

* the upcoming weekend with family

* a new dress! it's purple!

* my fabulous job

* a cool, rainy day

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-30-14

Today I am grateful for:

* yesterday's rain

* my recovery friends

* the courage to do a 'fat fast' in my abstinence

* the dog's groomer

Monday, September 29, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-29-14

Today, I am grateful for:

* Monday. I am never grateful for Monday, but after the weekend I had, it has been GREAT to come to work!

* the courage and imagination to keep tweaking whatever needs tweaked in my life

* Atkins' 'fat fast'

* my amazing daughter - she is doing so well

* MB - for talking out all the tension and problems that have been between us the last two years. Thank you, friend.

* being comfortable in my own skin today

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-28-14

Today I am very grateful for:

* the final fruits of the summer's garden

* finally talking 'things' out with my best friend

* a boy-free house (though they were fun while they were here)

* spending the day cooking

* rain

* a yard full of beautiful, yellow leaves

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-27-14

Wow. It's been an intense week. But still much to be grateful for:

* a tank full of healthy, lively goldfish - good 'chi'

* my recovery girlfriends - we have a lot of fun together and they always have my back

* Saturday morning womens' meetings and the naked honesty that is present

* continued abstinence and the willingness to do whatever is necessary to remain so

* live music - trying to learn to like country!

Friday, September 26, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-26-14

Whew! What a week. I'm kid-wrangling for a friend who had an emergency. Sure slows down my writing time...

Today I am grateful for:

* the two eleven year old boys who are my house guests...

* ...and that they play with my dog

* the writing class I am taking

* autumn

* sponsees and more sponsees!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-21-14

Today I am grateful for:

* a 'bedroom slippers' day

* migraine meds

* alternative lifestyles

* autumn leaves

* bread cheese

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-18-14

Today I am grateful for:

* overcast skies

* the two ladies that came to the OA meeting last night

* being abstinent, whether or not the scale is moving

* sunflower seeds

* vanilla scented candles

* autumn - love the smell of damp, cut hay, cool air, and crispy leaves - nothing like it!

Monday, September 15, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-15-14

Today I am grateful for:

* the ability to see 'red flags' in various relationship and...

* the strength and wisdom to walk away when I see those 'red flags'

* having a great job

* new hair color!

* books, books, books

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Living in gratitude 9-14-14

I'm feeling grumpy and mean today, but I'm still going to do a gratitude list:

* getting my hair cut and colored today

* books by Charles DeLint - I need a long sojourn in the 'dream worlds' to blow the dust out of the corners of my mind

* autumn - and long walks on crisp evenings through fallen leaves

* thought the scale isn't moving, the tape measure and my clothing show loss

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-13-14

Today I am grateful for:

* C.A.K.E. friends

* a quiet Saturday morning at home

* an ever evolving desire/plan to improve myself and my health

* migraine meds

* fall - I love autumn so much!

Friday, September 12, 2014

Daily gratitude

Today I am grateful for:

* bread cheese

* waffle irons

* peanut butter and whoever originally had the brilliant idea to dig peanuts out of the ground, shell them, and grind them up into the nectar of the gods!

* blue skies and sunshine

* JW and her wisdom, skills, and sunny friendship

* recovery meetings at my home 3 nights a week

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-11-14

Today I am grateful for:

* snow

* everyone continuing to remember the people that died 9/11/2001

* 61 (!) days of continuous abstinence

* motivation to do whatever it takes to stay abstinent

* all of my lovely sponsees across three recovery programs - you help me so much!

* the zillions of low carb recipes that I can make amazing food with!

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-6-14

Today, I am grateful for...

* waking up to sunlight streaming through my windows

* the crystal clear tank of goldfish in my living room

* spending last evening with the wonderful children of a friend

* attending an AA women's meeting this morning with a sponsee - and the privilege of being a part of so many other recovering women's lives

* celebrating the life of Gene M. today with friends

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-3-14

Today I am grateful:

* that I am no longer driven by the compulsion to be in a relationship at any cost

* for 52 days of food abstinence

* for peace about my weight and my lifestyle and my choices

* for my various program sponsors: CH, MB, and LW

Monday, September 1, 2014

Daily gratitude 9-1-14

Today I am grateful for:

* it's September!

* being nominated for the 7 day gratitude challenge on FB by CH

* Day 51 of abstinence

* my daughter's visit this last week

* that this is the last day of my daughter's visit (hahaha)

* rain

* essential oil diffusers - I can breathe!

* RW and dreams

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-26-14

Gosh, I've been busy - which is probably why I haven't been writing on here.

Back to work!

Today I am grateful for:

* my job

* my boss

* my abstinence - 47 days!

* RW and CH - for new days and hopeful dreams

* my amazingly wonderful daughter, who is home visiting for a week

* the ex leaving me alone

* all the people and programs that fill my life to bursting with recovery

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-21-14

Grateful for:

* the scale slowly moving down

* good friends helping me with decisions about so many things

* AA meetings and my recovery family

* all of my sponsees!!

* R.W. - and possibilities

* feeling good about myself again, attractive, sexy, etc. after so many years of self-loathing

Monday, August 18, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-18-14

Today I am grateful:

* bread cheese waffles

* my hyper-obnoxious, barking dog

* my friend, M.B., that we have finally reconnected

* the possibility of romance/companionship

* new sponsees

* 37 days of abstinence

* food affirmations - they are working!

* books

* the commitment to and courage to create a poetry chapbook

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-16-14

Grateful today for:

* the writing class I went to - networking and knowledge!

* the migraine headaches I have had the last few days - forced me to take a look at my food and supplementation again - and I think I see the problem

* connecting with classmate C.S. at the writing class

* the library for hosting the writing class

* friends like L.M. - hoping to have the courage to ask her to sponsor me in AA

* the sound of crickets in my backyard

Friday, August 15, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-15-14

Thankful today for:

* the writing class I am attending tomorrow and the courage to go to it

* my abstinence getting 'cleaner' every day

* crazy people who are like signposts, showing me where to go/not to go in my recovery

* the courage to drop #6 from my food plan and believe I will be just fine

* the two hour conversation I had by phone with my lovely daughter last night - she is a joy

* the ex not coming to the ACA meeting last night

* the lady I 12 stepped into OA yesterday - I love the chance to share what I do, to really look at what I do to stay abstinent and what really WORKS

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-14-14

Some people have some great things to say:

I am grateful for my daughter today.

Even though she and I rarely agree on anything, I am so happy she is alive and arguing with me

Blessed be.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-12-14

Humbly grateful today that:

* I am not suicidal, as I was for the first forty years of my life

* I am single

* my bills are paid for the month

* I can help others with recovery

* I can help others with essential oils

* I have a nice, quiet home to live in

* I sleep through the night without nightmares

* I have a great job with professional, well-adjusted people

Monday, August 11, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-11-14

Grateful today for:

* a beautiful home to live in

* a car that runs with no problems

* debt free except for mortgage/car

* breathing

* peanut butter

* the ability to wear pants (instead of a dress) all the time, if I wish

* Day 30 of abstinence

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-9-14

Grateful for:

* peanut butter

* the energy to clean the fish tank until it was sparkling

* bacon and avocados and coffee and chocolate

* the opportunity to be of service in my recovery

* J.'s 5th step tonight

* phone meetings

* the courage to make the decisions to cut off the cable tv and close 'old' checking/savings account

* cleaning all the grains, mixes, and 'stuff' out of my cupboards last night

* finally, finally being me after so many decades of being what everyone else wanted me to be

Friday, August 8, 2014

Daily gratitude 8/8/14

Grateful today for:

* Friday

* Clearing the air with the ex about a few things - hopefully for the last time

* The gift of my beautiful, intelligent, resilient daughter

* Affirmations

* The scale slowly going down

* Libraries - physical and electronic

* Did I mention Friday? *smile*

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-7-14

Today I am grateful for:

* M.B., for her friendship and her work on our joint garden

* handpicked flowers in an empty tea can

* a bag bursting with garden produce

* books written by Catherine Ryan Hyde

* Kindles

* a job that I love and enjoy

* my daughter's upcoming visit

* a sparkling clean fish tank

* rain

* C.H. - and possibilities

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-6-14

Grateful today for:

* talking to the Kid on FB

* sponsees in all programs

* L.M. for calling me yesterday - she's such a titan of recovery and she asked for MY help?

* Kindles and books on Kindle

* rain

* dog groomers

* Miss Maggie being part of my life

* coffee

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-5-14

Today I am grateful for:

* the tart taste of wild blueberries in my morning yogurt

* no cravings for sugar

* freedom from my eating disorder today

* willingness to weigh and measure my food - to see it as freedom and not bondage

* August rains

* understanding my bad dreams as recovery sign posts rather than past torment

* my Inner Children, my Higher Power, and prayer/meditation - a joyful Trinity

Monday, August 4, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-4-14

Today I am grateful for:

* cloudy skies and the possibility of rain

* my very cool, laid-back, intelligent boss - coming to work is a joy

* fried cheese

* the courage and strength to do the things that need to be done in my life

* Sisters #2, #5, and #6 - you three are always there for me

* bifocal contacts

* the little visit from C.B. last week  - very uplifting!

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Daily gratitude 8-2-14

Hmmm. Behind on my gratitude list. I think I've been 'in the food' i.e. addiction a bit (though not full out binging/trigger foods/sugar), so that makes me forget the recovery tools I need to use daily!

Today I am grateful for:

* P.W. - for getting the protein shakes I am addicted to out of my house

* the 'wherewithal' to continue looking at my life and where I can improve it/work on it, especially my recovery

* the headache I am going to have withdrawing from the protein shakes. A good reminder that sugar is not my friend

* peace from the ex

* my daughter is coming home for a week in two weeks - woot!

* bifocal contacts - though the adjustment period is a little gruesome

* sleeping in on the weekends

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-29-14

So grateful for:

* rain

* pork rinds

* my new food sponsor, CH

* my step sponsor, LW

* growing plants

* books and bookcases finally at my new house from the old one

* summer winding down

* phone meetings and the joyful, abstinent people on them

Monday, July 28, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-28-14

Some things to be grateful for today:

* Seeing my the pics of my friend, D.'s, recent vacation

* Finally getting my bedroom rearranged - totally new energy flow!

* books, books, books at my house

* repotting three plants that desperately needed it

* sprinkler system

* H.H. mowing and weedeating my lawn - good job, kid!

* sleeping pills for those restless nights

* essential oil diffusers

* recovery meetings - live and phone

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-27-14

Today I am grateful for:

* watching the stars in a hammock on my back porch

* renewed contact with C.H.

* Michelle coming to visit me today unexpectedly!

* the first zucchini from the garden

* listening to music just unpacked that I haven't heard in years

* my bookcases full of books again

* abstinence

* the ambition to finally 'work' on my house

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-26-14

Today I am grateful:

* new ideas and books and pathways to support my abstinence coming to my attention daily

* roast beef and eggs for breakfast

* AH & EH for mowing my lawn each week

* hauling home ten boxes of books and CDs from the ex's house. Some day, that umbilical cord will be completely cut

* the courage to start cleaning out my freezer, which is full of old food and food I will never eat. I'm just going to throw out a few things a day so I'm not overwhelmed by the project. Just cleaning out the door of the freezer yesterday made me feel happy and powerful!

* quiet morning with sleeping in - didn't have to get up early

Friday, July 25, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-25-14

Today I am grateful for:

* a bark control collar that works on my dog

* the scale keeps moving down

* a digital scale so that I can compulsively watch those 1/10 of a pound come off (or on)

* a new food sponsor in OA who is also a bariatric surgery patient

* GS phone meetings - best food recovery meetings ever!

* my kitchen scale - keeping me honest

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-23-14

Today I am grateful for:

* crochet thread and needles

* the thousands of crochet patterns available free on the Internet

* my daughter communicating with me

* the ex leaving me alone

* the results of daily service work and daily prayer/meditation

* summer

* bbq'ing

* people in recovery who ask me to be of service to them

* whoever my future sponsors might be

Monday, July 21, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-21-14

Today I am grateful for:

* Aerogardens and the seed kits that go in them

* air conditioning

* cream cheese and butter

* hard boiled eggs

* Sunday evenings

* washing machines & dryers

* an automatic sprinkler system

* books that lead me toward enlightenment/Truth

* my youngest sister

* GS phone meetings

* 9 days of abstinence

Friday, July 18, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-18-14

Today I am seriously grateful for:

* It's fucking Friday!!! Woot!

* recovery phone meetings - keeping me sane, thirty minutes at a time

* air conditioning

* my friend, M.B. - I wish I could see her more, but she's living her life...with kids

* boundaries with my ex

* Ningxia Red - helps with my mood and overall sense of well-being

* essential oils

* the idea of sister tattoos (!)

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-17-14

Today I am grateful for:

* waking up alert and in a good mood

* a feeling of well-being pervading my body and mind as addiction/cravings recede

* several days of 'quiet' from the ex

* L.S. and L.W. for coming to the OA meeting last night and listening to me and sharing their stuff

* my job and that my boss isn't here this morning

* smoothly shaved legs

* my groovy new color job on my hair - love my new hair dresser

* feeling 'young' and 'thin' in my body, no matter what size or how old I am - it really is all perception

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-16-14

This should be getting easier, but it seems more difficult today, for some reason.

Today I am grateful for:

* the ex helping me survive financially this last year

* my Kindles

* the Internet

* pumpkin seeds being low carb

* day four clean from sugar

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-15-14

Today I am grateful for:

* my local ACA group

* that I might be finally, legally single soon

* eggs

* waking up with a sense of well being instead of hung-over or sick

* my friend, P.W. - always so balanced and thoughtful!

* the feeling my body has when I come home in the evening and take the bra off!

* essential oils

Monday, July 14, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-14-14

Today I am grateful for:

* my job

* lots and lots of recovery meetings by phone

* day two of food abstinence

* overcast skies

* Jasmine's book about her grandma

* waking up feeling like a human instead of a ravening monster

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-13-14

Today I am grateful for:

* Young Living's Slique products

* Willingness to attempt food abstinence once again

* A sponsor in OA that gets my s**t

* Water

* Abstinent food

* The computer and the Internet, sources of support and inspiration

* Fish tank filters

* a very quiet morning

* my local AA group

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-12-14

Today, I am grateful that:

* the ex is out of town for a few days

* weekends

* an afternoon nap

* sleeping in

* a phone call from my dad

* the anticipation of seeing an old friend next week

* air conditioning

* everything in my house works

Friday, July 11, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-11-14

Good reading today:

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
--Antoine de St. Exupery

A tuning fork is a small tool that is used to tune musical instruments. It is tapped softly and then set down. As it vibrates, it gives off a musical tone. When its vibrations perfectly match the vibrations of the note played on the instrument, the instrument is in tune. When the note matches the tuning fork, this can be both felt and heard.

Our hearts work like a tuning fork. When the heart feels completely in tune with a decision or thought or action in our lives, then we know it is the right one for us. We can actually feel the harmony inside our bodies.

Sometimes what we know deep in our hearts gets clouded over by doubts and questions and other people's opinions and judgments. We need to clear away such clouds and listen to our hearts, for our hearts carry the wisdom of God.

Am I in tune with my heart today?

Today, I am grateful for:

1. The ability to say 'no', especially things/people/events that do not enhance my serenity.

2. A clean, quiet bed to sleep in by myself.

3. Dating standards

4. Being more 'in tune' with myself and my Inner Children

5. People in recovery to be of service to

6. A.H. - for her friendship and her recovery showing me new directions to go in my own recovery.

7. An automatic sprinkler system

8. Magazines, especially ones about writing and cooking.

9. Air conditioning

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-10-14

Saw this on FB - awesome stuff:

Wear gratitude like a cloak and 
it will feed every corner of your life. 
~ Rumi

Today I'm grateful for:

* people who come to the OA meeting I am hosting weekly at my home

* being single

* all the counselors and sponsors and mentors who have listened to me over the years

* my cute little dog, even more cute after being groomed - she looks like a puppy. Evokes an 'awwwww' response in me.

* spiders that eat bugs

* having breakfast with the guys at work once a week

* the guys at work - they are so damn awesome to work with and no drama!

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-9-14

Today I am grateful that:

* my daughter is a well-adjusted, resilient adult who is clean/sober and in a monogamous relationship

* the ex is leaving me alone and has stopped pestering to get back together

* L. came through her surgery safely and seemingly without cancer

* my friend A. came to my home last night to help me with the grand-niece/nephew crisis

* for the recovery programs that have given me life today: AA, OA, and ACA

* online dating sites - for amusement value if nothing else!

Monday, July 7, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-7-14

I had a miserable weekend, inside my own head.

I had lots of invites to do stuff, but I turned most of them down.

For some reason, I thought it was a better idea to hide out at home.

It's a new week, so here we go.

I am grateful for:

* a nice home to live in

* a very cool, intelligent, laid-back boss

* my youngest sister that I got to see over the weekend - miss her so much!

* my daughter, who took the time to stay in touch with me this weekend, knowing I would be having a hard time with the anniversary

* ACA friends who keep checking in with me to see how *I* am doing

* my goofy soon-to-be bro-in-law, E.L.

* life lessons learned from watching the crap my sisters are going through

* chocolate

* coffee

* chocolate and coffee together

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Daily gratitude 7-2-14

In twelve step recovery groups, I've always been told that if I live in gratitude, it is difficult to be resentful and acting out in addictions.

At times, I've attempted to make gratitude lists and they helped. Immensely.

This blog is my latest effort at living in gratitude.

Today I am grateful for:

1. Sister #6 (I have five of them and we refer to ourselves by birth order i.e. I'm #1) because she seems to still like me and wants to see me this week while she in in town!

2. My job, in a time when so many have no jobs or dislike or feel trapped by the one they have.

3. Black pepper and sea salt rice crackers.

4. Miss Maggie, the resident rescue Pomeranian, for her cute, sweet fluffiness.

5. Wireless routers.

6. Starbucks coffee, esp. for venti iced decaf soy mocha.

7. E. and A., for mowing and weed-eating my yard yesterday.

8. To be alive and healthly, after the devastating illness I endured last year.

9. Oh hey, let's be grateful for Dawn and Sam, the awesome Starbucks's baristas who greet me with sunny faces and dispositions every morning I show up there!